Sooo, as you might have seen from my latest posts, and if you follow me over on Instagram, I went to Bologna Bookfair recently.
I’ve been processing and downloading it all since I got back. It’s an overwhelming experience for sure. When I first got back, I was super energised by it all, and full of all of the amazing sight, sounds and tastes of it all. Now it’s been a few weeks, and it’s beginning to feel a bit like a fever dream - but I’m pretty sure it did happen!
I didn’t want to let it completely slip by without taking the time to digest it, and reflect on my time there. I always find writing these posts helpful for gaining deeper insights into things I’ve done so I’m interested to see what emerges as I reflect on it today.
This post has actually been sitting in my drafts for a few weeks, but I’m coming back to it today with fresh eyes, and a little distance from the fair, and I’m looking forward to refreshing my memories of it all.
I think first and foremost, the best thing about Bologna is the people! It’s a chance to not only spend time with lovely people, but people who are as obsessed with children’s books as I am! I feel super lucky that my hobby is also my job, and the thing I want to do when I’m not “working” is geek out over painting, drawing, books, production values, texts, art materials, etc etc… And there’s something extra special about Bologna, because it feels like a children’s book nerd convention. Everyone - the publishers, illustrators, organisers and attendees - are obsessed with children’s books and it’s just an amazing feeling to be immersed like that.
Speaking of people - this year was extra special for me, as I went to Rome with my husband and son beforehand, and then they came along to Bologna the weekend before, so I got to show the city off to them, which was amazing!
I had a lovely time catching up with new friends. and old. I stayed in a flat with my lovely friends Ruby Wright and Emma Farrarons, and it was really nice to have them as a touchstone at the beginning and end of every day. Thank you both, if you are reading this!
The last two times I’ve been to Bologna have been especially significant for me, because I’ve been there as an illustrator, instead of in my professional role, as an Art Director/Publisher1. I went regularly in my professional capacity to look for illustrators and to get a sense of the publishing landscape; I was looking out for what was happening, what were the trends and where we should be going in our future publishing plans. Then in 2022, I went for the first time as an illustrator as part of the Cambridge School of Art Graduate showcase. It felt surreal to be there as an illustrator, on the “other side” as it were! It was an amazing celebration of what was a terrifying decision to leave work, step out on my own, follow my gut (and my heart) and do something for myself. And a big celebration of the creativity that's flourished within me since then!
When talking about Bologna, I can’t help but be aware of all the big feelings that it prompts. Whether you go or you don’t, if you’re in children’s books, it’s one of those things that feels…BIG. And big things mean big feelings, big expectations, big envy. What I’m trying to say, is that everything feels XL!
So, in my customary way, staying true to the authenticity I aim to bring to my Substack, I wanted to reflect on some of those big things.
Big Contradictions
The first thing that stands out when I think about Bologna is the contradictions of it. On the one hand it's exciting, immersive, sociable, inspiring. There’s amazing food to eat, soooo many books, so many illustrators, writers, big energy all around.
On the other hand, you spend a lot of time with a desperate need for solitude and reflection time. Needing to get away from all the crowds and the constant stimulation. You feel bloated, literally and metaphorically. Like you literally need time to digest it all, but there’s no time!
Big FOMO
I am one of those people who carries around a lovely big sack of guilt on my shoulders most days. And while I was there, I must admit to a level of guilt that I could be fuelling feelings of FOMO for people back at home, who, for whatever reason, weren’t there. I wanted to say: “it’s OK! It looks more exciting than it is!!” My feeling is that it’s is easy to forget that, no matter how exciting it is, you are not going to change who you are. You bring yourself with you to Bologna. I think there’s an expression that you are the common denominator in your relationships (and life). And, as much as it looks like Bologna will be able to wave a magic wand, and bring you all the book deals, connections, parties, friends (delete where appropriate) to your life. You still bring yourself with you; all your anxiety, social pressures, energy levels, envy, worries, etc… They all come with you too. So if you are looking at lovely photos of smiling, happy people, remember, behind the smiles are layers of real feelings and real experiences that aren’t all just “good vibes only”.
Big Inspiration and big insecurity
Bologna is huge! It's the world's biggest children's book fair and is a massive treasure trove of creativity, beautiful illustrations, and innovative books. It feels exciting and inspiring to be around, but I think you have to be careful with how you manage it all.
It can leave you feeling a little bit insignificant - it's that classic small fish in a big pond feeling - having so much abundance can also leave you feeling a bit lost, dizzy and it’s difficult not to have moments of inadequacy in a sea of such amazing talent.
Big pressure
A word that comes to mind when I think of Bologna is should. There's a never-ending list of sort of obligations and expectations that you can put upon yourself. That you should be marketing and networking, that you should be there, or there, or perhaps…there! What you should be saying, who you should be meeting, what you should be posting... The list is endless.
Big sensory overload
Then there’s the sensory overload of Bologna – early mornings, late nights, so much food! Crowds, books, conversations, and constant activity – it can be a real test of resilience. It’s a balance between the desire to engage with everything and the need for personal space.
This all begins to feel like a long list of negative things about Bologna. But despite writing all of this, I did have a rich, vibrant, and inspiring time. As I said at the beginning, I’ve been to Bologna quite a few times (with work, and last year as an illustrator), so you could say I’ve had a lot of practice being there. So I know all about how overwhelming it is, and this year, I wanted to do my best to mitigate these things. It was still intense, and I came back exhausted, but these things did help…
Be there for the experience not the gain.
This year, when I was planning the trip to Bologna, mentally, I told myself, I was going there for the experience, not to get anything. What I’m trying to say is, I went there doing my best to be in an open and expansive mindset, not in a needy, grabby one. I’ve spoken before about the metaphor I use for myself when I feel I have gone off track from myself. I’ve learned over the years of being freelance, that I am at my best when I focus on the creative work, rather than trying to make things happen, that are ultimately out of my control. The metaphor is that I feel like a dog barking at cars. I am running around, making a lot of noise and expending energy, and nobody can hear me. But if I focus on the actual work, and my own personal development and growth, that’s the important stuff, and that’s what people actually want to see, and that’s where I feel the best and most expansive.
So I didn’t put pressure on myself to secure a book deal, or make any special connections. I didn’t try and make any appointments with publishers before I went. I did update my portfolio online, and make an up-to-date PDF of my portfolio (which I brought on an iPad) and I had some business cards printed. And then I decided I would let the rest unfold, and I would just do my best to enjoy the experience.
Feel the force
There’s a moment in Star Wars, episode IV, A New Hope, in the big denouement, when the Rebels need to aim a precise hit to destroy the Death Star. Luke Skywalker is using a targeting computer for aiming, when Obi Wan Kenobi’s spirit voice floats up and says “use the Force, Luke”. He puts away the eyepiece, and feels the Force! He trusts his gut, and gets a direct hit!2
Rather than securing a target and aiming, I like the idea that you can let unexpected moments happen, chance encounters, things that you couldn’t possibly have predicted. Basically, trust your gut, and feel the force!
My Bologna
Books
The first few days I was at the fair were pretty busy. Despite saying all of the above, I had put a few things in the diary. I did a Bologna Masterclass3 and two portfolio review sessions. One way or another, they both managed to make the first two days feel pretty full. So on Wednesday, I made a special effort to get out there and explore the fair. I didn’t get all around the fair, but I had a good look around halls 29 and 30, which are mainly European publishers, and it had the bigger and better Comics Corner, too, which was exciting! Here are a tiny selection of the photos I took.
Taking the time to look through the books on the stands, at my pace, was a chance to follow my creative gut, make new discoveries and to fill my creative well. Looking at all the photos I took together, it feels bright, busy, vibrant, stylish. I am always attracted to textures, layers, and things that feel slightly off-beat and quirky, and just make me chuckle. Crowds look like a theme - people, fluorescent colours…. When I got back, I ordered a bunch of books, and I now have a pile of books sitting on my desk. I will do a video at some point, so keep your eyes open for that. I’m so glad I took the time to do that - I genuinely feel like I have planted some seeds. I don’t know when shoots will begin to emerge, but I believe they will.
Sketching
And on the last day, I decided not to go back to the fair. Part of me felt I should go (that should again!) - I didn’t even get to the Korean stands - one of my favourite parts of the fair, always - and, well, lots of the fair was left unexplored. But I also wanted to have a chance to soak up the last of the Italian sunshine, and to have a bit more time to sketch before I left. So I left the fair unexplored that day, and instead, went out and drew with friends. In fact, I made sure to take time to sketch throughout the trip. I’ve said before how I find sketching is almost like taking a magic pill for me. It helps take me out of my thinking brain, into my body. I find it unbelievably soothing. It’s not to say I don’t have frustrating sketching sessions, but I find the focus I go into, looking, contemplating, choosing, adjusting, takes me away from all the little niggling worries, and gives me an often needed dose of perspective.
Celebrating!
There was a moment on the first day when I realised that I would actually have books on the stands! It sounds mad to say that now, but I’d been so focused on getting there, preparing for the talk, getting my portfolio ready, and perhaps my plan to just be in the moment was working a little too well. Luckily, my friends reminded me that my books would be on the stands, so I rushed over, and there they were!! What an amazing feeling it was to see books I’ve illustrated on the stands of Publishers that I have loved and admired from afar for years.
I have to say, I feel so lucky to have made books with some of my favourite publishers. I always loved the stylish design and beautiful production of Wide Eyed Editions, and loved the emergence and flourishing of illustrated non fiction publishing spearheaded by them. So to be on their list is amazing. My book with them is Rewild the World at Bedtime, written by the wonderful Emily Hawkins.
And I can finally reveal to you, that my new book, that I have been keeping under wraps is Dear Vincent, written by the lovely Michael Bird, and published by Thames & Hudson. The book focuses on the relationship between Vincent Van Gogh and his brother Theo, who wrote hundreds of letters to each other. Theo was a vociferous supporter of Vincent and frequently sent him money, paints and supplies, and without him, we might never have heard of Vincent Van Gogh. The book takes us through Vincent leaving Paris to go to Arles, encouraged by Theo, where he painted the almond blossom, he made friends, and painted their portraits, like the famous painting of the postman Joseph Roulin, and did his wonderful sunflower paintings. It was a huge creative burst for him, and he painted over 180 paintings in a year of living there. Of course, I don’t compare myself to him, but I do identify with his obsessison with getting better, his passion for art and painting, not only his own work, but that of other artists as well, and of course, his love of colour. I loved painting the book, and being immersed in Vincent’s world, and genuinely felt sad when I had finished. And what an honour it was to work with such a distinguished publisher. Another one I have admired from afar. As a publisher whose focus is on art and creativity, I couldn’t have asked for more! It publishes at the end of August.
You can buy (and pre-order) both books here.
Some sort of conclusion
In the end, you can’t escape the fact that Bologna is intense, but isn’t that the joy of it!? For me, the trick is to be mindful of all of that, and lean into it. Allow it to unfold, and to remember there’s nothing stopping you from doing it your way.
Soak it up. Be inspired. Find motivation where possible, find what lights you up and trust that what you need will come from it.
I have learned over the past few years, with all the self-reflection that has come through leaving work and doing the MA that I'm much happier and healthier when I switch off the noise of should and follow a path that feels authentic to me. One where I feel passionate, lit up, enthusiastic, excited, inspired. My hope is that that will shine through more than efforting will.
I’d love to know, how was Bologna for you? Whether you went or watched from afar. Do you have questions? Let’s have a Bologna chat - leave comments and questions below. This post is free for all subscribers, and everyone can post comments.
If you do want to show your support, I would love it if you would consider becoming a paid subscriber. I really appreciate every single paid subscriber (and if you are already subscribed, thank you, from the bottom of my heart). All subs help me to continue making illustrated books, and creating posts here on Substack. And as well as supporting me, you get benefits too. What?! Yes, you heard me! You get access to my big catalogue of paid posts, and access to my monthly Zoom sessions, Art Club and Picture Book Club. And if you can’t attend live, all sessions are recorded and posted afterwards.
Until next time!
Ella xx
If you don’t already know, in my previous life I worked in Children’s Publishing for over 20 years. I worked my way up through design and worked as an Art director/Head of Design for about 7 years, and I was Head of Campbell Books for the last 4 years before I left.
with apologies to Sar Wars nerds for this description!! Haha!
It was called: Building the 3 C's is essential for becoming a successful children's book illustrator. Groups, associations and degrees can help. Learn which are right for you and how to get the most out of them. With Shelley Ann Jackson, Associate Professor, Course Leader, MA Children's Book Illustration and Rachel Bostick, Illustrator.
I absolutely loved reading about your experience. It's my dream one day to visit (but it's a big commitment from Australia!) so this was a wonderful way to experience it from afar. Thanks for your generosity in sharing.
Great blog about the Bologna Book Fair, can't wait to take a visit, thank you so much for sharing, you are always so generous with your content. Would love it if you ever had time to go through the picture books you chose.